Perspective is a choice. I can easily view my life with a clean pair of glasses or I can choose to focus on the negative. My reactions and feelings about myself and my life are affected by which pair of glasses I choose to put on.
I’ve been going hard in the paint these past few months. (That’s a basketball term for those who don’t know.) The rim aka my goal is to pay off my credit card debt and to fully support myself with my new business by the end of the year. My playbook has been to work six jobs:
1. Barista four days a week.
2. Teaching gymnastics three days a week.
3. Bartending a few times a month.
4. Copywriting ten deliverables a month.
5. Teaching two acting classes twice a week.
6. Blogging and building my social media following as much as possible in my “free time.”
Oh, and I devised, performed, and produced a one-woman show in August.
Needless to say, I haven’t been sitting on the bench. Sure, I’ll rest on the regular timeout here and there, but I’m playing the full 48 minutes.
Unsurprisingly, I’ve started to get burnt out. The good news is that I’ve started to see some return on my time investments. Medium publications are publishing my work and I’m slowly getting more followers on social media.
However, I am tired. I’m currently staring at this screen while the sleepiness pulls on my eyelids and the mental fog sets in. But I’m determined and dedicated to entrepreneurship, so I keep going. However, its much harder to stay optimistic and keep a positive perspective while exhausted.
I have been known to push myself to breakdowns, at which point I have to realign myself. I’m just so eager to get my life going in the direction of my dreams. I’m turning 31 in a week and want to get my self-supporting career going.
As with any goal, I’m facing obstacles. Most of them are self-inflicted. The most recent? A feeling of failure and a lack of self-worth.
When I look at my life through a pair of glasses focused on numbers and status, it doesn’t look good: *I’m living with my parents.
- I have credit card debt.
- I have student loan debt.
- I’m not in a steady career.
- I don’t have a social life.
When I try to quantify my life, it doesn’t match up to how I feel inside and it depresses me. Through years of therapy and self-development, I’ve learned that perspective is clutch; it’s the game-changer.
When I qualify my life through my experiences and look at it with a pair of glasses of quality, I see my blessings:
I’m living with my parents BECOMES:
My parents love me. We’re getting older and once they’re gone I won’t regret the precious time I got to spend with them.
I have credit card debt BECOMES:
I volunteered in Thailand for eight months and got to experience the culture. The little money I had saved I spent to travel there and teach English to disabled students, inspiring them to believe in themselves.
I have student loan debt BECOMES:
I went to graduate school in Europe where I found love and healed many parts of myself. Pushing myself harder than I ever thought possible, I won.
I’m not in a steady career BECOMES:
I’m building a business and creating a one-woman show to inspire other women and let them know they’re not alone in their experiences and feelings.
I don’t have a social life BECOMES:
I don’t go to bars to meet friends because I’ve been sober for over eight years. Being sober has given me a life beyond my wildest dreams.
I think we can agree that the first pair of glasses sucks. Why would I choose to live with that perspective? It inherently brings me into comparison and competition with others. If I can choose how I show up in my life and what perspective I get to have everyday, why wouldn’t I want to try to find the most positive, empowering way to look at life?
When I choose to look at my life with the better pair of glasses I’m not compelled to escape the “now.” I don’t need a beer after work (for me, it was vodka and whiskey morning until night just to survive).
Today, I get to live every moment, every tired day, every little win, every thing. I am fully present; I get to experience the good and bad.
I’m doing the best I can, and that’s all I can reasonably ask of myself. Next month if I’m still feeling overworked, maybe I’ll cut back. Maybe it’ll take a little longer to pay off my debt, but my self-care will improve, and that’s the most important thing to me.
Self-love is my number one job: I work on loving myself everyday. And whenever I feel sad or self-deprecating, I get to remind myself that it’s time to change my glasses.